Wasted & Wiped Out in Panama

Wasted -Wiped out...Three or four long diving days in a panga, constant sun, wind, waves, not enough food or rest, and a zillion drops into the deep, pushing a long breath hold. We were tired at the end of this trip and even a young diver like Michelle was toasted. We were dirty, salty and fishy, had a ton of wet gear, it was getting late, and we were too tired and it was too dangerous to make the 8 hour night drive back to Panama. We could get a hotel but the idea of unloading the truck and carrying all the heavy coolers, wet bags and smelly gear from the truck to the room did not sound good. What could we do?------ A Push Button !----. In Panama there is an unusual solution especially for tired divers,--- well not especially for divers---but available for divers too. The answer, unique to Panama, is simply called a “Push Button”. They are found all over Panama and are usually spotted by bright neon signs like “Campo De Amor” and are a perfect refuge for tired divers who want to rest but don’t want to unload all the gear and carry it to a room. Push Buttons are like motels with some slight twists. You never see anyone and they never see you. You drive in your private garage, push a big red button and the garage door closes and the light goes on. You get out of your car and insert money in a small slot and “Open Sesame”, the door to your room opens. Big hot showers, videos, but no dive videos, a giant bed and most important, your truck and your gear is all secure just steps away. Most Push Button customers are not looking to rest, but to use the Push Button as a trysting place to take their secret lovers where they will not be seen or recognized. On weekends and pay days there are lines of cars with smoked windows, waiting for an open garage. During the week we pay $30 for the night instead of the usual $10 for two hours. At the end of a dive trip, because we always stay too late diving, Michelle and I have discovered the solution to our major problem of how to get home safely-just drive in, push the big red button-problem solved. We get a great nights sleep, our dive gear is safe and we are ready for the drive back the next morning. We love Push Button Diving, but as you may have concluded, it is a lot more fun if your dive buddy also happens to be your girl friend.

This trip to the Coiba area started off as it often does-the boat driver shows up late and has no anchor, no water, no food, no knife, no rain jacket, etc like the first time he has ever done it. One more boat driver I won’t use again. We sent him off to get the gear but then we arrived later than hoped for at the first dive site. Shortly after we jumped in we saw our first wahoo, a big one that passed by slowly, out of range. We were excited to know at least there were fish as the rainy season was just starting. The next visitors were two thick-bodied bull sharks that were not so timid. They kept returning and each time they were a little more bold. Since we knew they would jump on any wahoo we might shoot we decided to move north and see what else we might find. Bocipenda or yellow jacks are strong, and delicious fish and three came by Michelle at about 25 feet as she hung motionless. One came into range and my chocolatita fired without hesitation--- BAM- The fish quivers and turns on its side. Stoned by Michelle on the first shot of the trip. Luck or Skill?

One of the main hopes of this trip was for Michelle to have a chance to shoot her first wahoo. Montuosa Island is a long way from Coiba but the next day we hit the conditons right and made the two hour trip, because at times it is great. The water was clear and the fish were there, but not in the numbers like I have seen before.. Michelle was in the water first and looked up and reported “Wahoo” while I was still in the panga getting my stuff on. She tipped up and went down and I heard the gun fire----BAM--- Before I even got in the water Michelle surfaced with her “First Wahoo Ever” Another stone shot right in the head. A small but beautiful fish. Two shots in her stone streak. Luck or Skill? “ We saw more wahoo but they stayed out and we never managed to connect again. One great experience was having two 40 lb. Bohala that came up to us in the clear water and stayed around watching us for several minutes. We decided not to shoot as they were only medium size and we wanted to concentrate on wahoo.

That night back in camp we were waked up by the commotion of the police bringing in a drug boat and 1000 lbs of cocaine that was aboard. The crew had beached the boat and fled into the jungle. The police forgot about the guys and were celebrating their capture of the big packs of cocaine and the Colombian boat with the four, 200 HP Yamahas on the back. The jefe showed up the next morning to personally escort the drugs to his “secure holding area”. The police, Yamaha, and the boat builders all hope this farcical war on drugs lasts forever.

The next day we went the wrong way and missed a run of small tuna but Michelle managed to add another magnificent fish to her stone streak. Pez Gallo are beautiful fish in the water and my experience is that once they pass they usually don’t come back for a second look. I knew Michelle saw something when she grabbed the gun out of my hand without a word and powered down. Then I saw the two big fish veer slightly from their path and approach to investigate the new visitor. The largest, took one look and started to turn back on course but it was too late---BAM---- A beautiful, shimmering pez gallo quivered in the water. Michelle’s First Pez Gallo and Third fish in her stone streak. Three nice fish, a Bocipenda, her first Wahoo, and her first Pez Gallo all stoned with a precise shot into that tiny area that freezes the fish. I say luck-Michelle says skill. But what a stone streak. I have never stoned three fish in a row. It is great that she stoned the Pez Gallo because with any other shot, the powerful fish might have been more than even my tough little chocalatita could handle. Michelle is fearless and I think part of the reason she is so audacious and spunky is that life started out hard for her. Michelle told me that when she was born, her mother was totally alone and had to get up and heat a machete over a fire to cut the umbical cord. Life could not start much tougher than that.

The best diving turned out to be early on the way back. There were no boats, no people, clear water and lots of fish. We had our bent, magic spoons ready and I also think Michelle’s pink suit attracted the fish. We saw two nice fish outside and Michelle dropped. I waited a couple of seconds and threw the spoon in front of her. The fish started to turn away, saw the glittering, spinning, spoon, did a U turn, and came back to investigate. I could not believe how bitchin’ it worked. Michelle just lined up on the spoon and waited.---BAM---- another nice fish, but the stone streak was broken and she had a great battle with her second and larger wahoo. It was my turn to shoot and after missing two shots, I finally got it dialed in and landed a nice wahoo. It was time to go but we were having so much fun, Michelle wanted to stay and shoot just one more. The spoon did its magic and she shot wahoo number two, for the morning, and we had to leave. It often seems that when you are out of time and have to go, that is when the fish show up. We got back to the beach late but we were really happy that the morning had been such great wahoo diving and that she got on the board with three wahoo for the trip.

On the way to the Push Button we took time to stop at a river and rinse off ourselves and some of our gear that would stay in the truck overnight. The rains had not started but when they do, the river level can rise two feet in a couple of hours. The road from the beach to the nearest town and the nearest Push Button is a narrow, but paved road with few cars but many bored students walking home from schools. An exuberant, daring, Michelle climbed out of the truck window and stood on the running board at 40 miles per hour. She greeted the passing students with a bare chest, a scream and a wave to celebrate her joy at shooting her first three wahoo and her first pez gallo. Being more mature, and recognizing the danger involved, I advised her to ------ lean a little farther out and scream a little louder.

Back in the city we got a call that another young girl, a relative of Michelle’s, needed our help and wanted to come visit the city for the first time. When she got off the bus she curiously stared at me and Michelle said it was because I was the first Gringo she had ever seen. It is great fun to see the initial fear of the virgin indian maiden, evaporate, as she feels safe and comfortable, and is captured by the wonder of all the new things around her. We took her to her first movie, Spiderman, cooked some fresh wahoo, went to the pool, got her on a bicycle, etc, etc. but I discovered the “show stopper”, for Tilsia, the thing that really lit her up----- was to take her on her first shopping trip to buy pretty, new clothes. She had never seen so many clothes and colors, never had anyone buy anything for her, never had anyone even tell her how pretty she was. It was the first time she got to revel in the Princess fantasy that all young women should enjoy. Fortunately womens clothes are cheap in Panama so she can look forward to more fun shopping. Our enjoyment is to see that unspoken, but deep marvel and joy glowing from her being. From the look on her face you would think she had just shot her first tuna.

The day we went the wrong way in Coiba, a fishing buddy, Tom reported that in the other direction, the tuna had been jumping around the boat for two hours and they never could get them to bite. He said it was the best tuna frenzy he had seen in five years and no one on his boat was set up to dive. He could see them all around the boat for hours, eating the sardines but they would not take a bait. In my fantasy,” true push button diving”, I would be able to push a button, like a red, tuna call button, and have such a tuna feeding frenzy, materialize under my boat. Until that happens, the reality is, we get to enjoy the workout, and the beauty and the suprises of diving every day in our aqua adventureland. We are in gratitude for the great diving we did and for the beautiful pez gallo and the three wahoo that the Inca Maiden Michelle sacrificed to the the Ocean Gods. She is wearing her Inca Maiden Medal to celebrate her second and largest wahoo. But one of the unique things we are most grateful for, at the end of a hard dive trip here in Panama, is-- coming up now.----- We enter the garage and Michelle alights from the truck and pushes the Big Red Button.-------- Open Sesame----------------.

Push Button Diving in Panama

Dix Roper and Michelle
    May 14, 2007
    dixroper@earthlink.net